Why I miss running

It's been 170 days since my last run.
170 days.
One Seven Zero.
I have not run one step in 2015.
As the days go by and I reflect on all of these months, I feel a lot of emotion:
Relief, sadness, frustration, gratefulness and hopefulness are just a few.
I have roughly 50 more days until I can run again. It'll be a slow process - my therapist says he'll start with me jumping on a trampoline, and gradually we'll get to running. First 5 minutes, then 10 minutes and so on.

Some days, I feel patient and I know I have to keep looking forward, keep doing my exercises and focus on the big picture.

Some days, I can't help but jump forward to when I earnestly start training again and attack my goals that I have put on the back burner for so long.
I feel like a caged tiger...
Let's do this already!!!

Some people play golf, others play tennis...

I. Run.

Don't get me wrong, I like other activities and I really want to work on my tennis game (!) and I'd like to be a much stronger swimmer. I even want to kick butt on the bike - but running is my passion.

Almost 6 months of not running has been hard. In the beginning, cross training kept me in shape and somewhat satisfied. I really enjoyed aqua jogging and I always feel good after a hard bike session. 

But I miss my trails, I miss the sunshine and fresh air. I miss seeing other runners on the road and nodding or smiling at them.

I miss my running friends! We are all so busy, running is pretty much the only way we stay in touch.

I miss feeling sweat pour down my face.

I miss the way it makes me feel. Endorphins are amazing!!

I miss being IN SHAPE. I haven't done any real exercise since the end of March.

I'm keeping it real. 

I feel the softness of my muscles, the extra jiggle in certain places, the extra fullness in my face. 

I don't believe in diets, so although I have cut back on food, at the end of the day I'm inputting (of course! I love food!) plenty and outputting - zero.

I don't mean to sound vain. I am not feeling vain, I just feel like something big is missing, ya know?

I know, I know - I'll be running soon enough and everything will be fine eventually. That's what people tell me. I just have a few ants in my pants!

I can't wait to have the relief of that first real run...

I can't wait to lace up my running shoes and actually run in them and not just try them on for a few minutes :)

I can't wait to move my legs again.

I can't wait to breathe hard from a good run.

I can't wait to actually blog about the experience of a run!

I can't wait to race again.

I'm almost there. I just have to keep happiness in my heart and keep smelling the flowers...

I believe that everything that happens in our lives, happens for a reason. I believe in God and I trust him...

I've been given wonderful friends - friends who have sent so many healthy meals to us these last five weeks since my knee surgery. Friends who have helped me make the right medical decisions and really care about me, and understand how important running is to me.

I've also been given an awesome family. 

So even through the sometimes lonely roads...

I believe.

I believe in hard work...

I love being a Mom and I love my kids so very much...

...But I miss having one thing for me.

I. Run.

And I haven't run my best marathon yet. Nope, not by a long shot.

It's gonna take lots of hard work and focus to get back what I gained and so much more.

But you know what?

I'm more than ready!

Happiness Is Running Life!

xo,

Natalie